So it is with relief that Lost in Showbiz can report

So it is with relief that Lost in Showbiz can report that Day has apparently forgiven Sheen and called a cessation to all anti-Sheen necromancy. "All in all, I think my experience with Mr Sheen is done. I appreciated that he said he was not a warlock and looks at it as a fun thing. He may still be using the word warlock, but at least he's being clear he's not really one Coach Sunglasses," he explained, after witnessing Sheen's Torpedo of Truth tour in Boston, concluding: "He's being a twit." LiS choses to ignore those who raise an eyebrow at a grown man who walks around in a cape, eyeliner and a pointy witch's hat calling anyone else a twit and instead marvels at the brilliant insight into human behaviour clearly afforded those who master the dark arts. Besides, Day now has other celebrity victims in his sights, namely Natalie Portman: he is currently trying to organise a boycott of her fantasy comedy film Your Highness in protest at what he terms its anti-warlock message Dolce & Gabbana Sunglasses. Fuming once more, he calls the film "an assault on taste" for featuring "a warlock who hopes to deflower helpless virgins and rule the world". "I hope people boycott this movie and movies like it so that Hollywood is inspired to release more positive films about witches and warlocks," he says. You see? You thought he was just a berk in a hat, but in reality he is a campaigner against prejudice and for equality! A freedom fighter! He's Martin Luther Warlock! Lost in Showbiz lights its special-offer Red Penis Candle in tribute and says: if on a visit to Sea World you chance upon a manatee that has an indefinable ring of Padme Amidala, Queen of Naboo Armani Sunglasses, about it, don't say you weren't warned.